Online Gaming Etiquette

Playing video games online can greatly enhance a player's gaming experience. While offline gaming is enjoyable, a gamer can only play a game offline from start to finish for so long before they exhaust through every possible game play experience. Unlike offline gaming, a game played online with other people is unique each time a game is played. This is simply because the gamer is dealing with real, live, breathing people all with their own unique personalities and skill levels.

Unfortunately, many offline gamers are afraid to try online gaming because of a growing epidemic in the online community: people are jerks.

To help cure the idiocy infecting all corners of networks such as Xbox live and the Playstation Network, I'm here to lay down a few etiquette ground rules.

Rule number one: Expand your vocabulary. I don't need you to use big words, I just need you to learn how to form a sentence with at least a 2:1 swear ratio. When you curse more than you don't, I really can't understand you. And nobody is impressed with your limited vocabulary. You sound dumb. Don't do it.

Rule number two: I am thrilled that you have a mic. No really, I am. I am completely aware that owning and using a mic can significantly improve the gaming experience. But, there are some things that I do not want to hear through the mic. I don't need to hear your music blaring through my headphones. I really don't need you to sing along with your music either. I also do not need to hear your mom yelling at you to clean your room or your baby crying hysterically in the background. Basically, mute your mic unless you have something important to contribute.

Rule number three: Your life should not revolve around winning. Now, don't get me wrong, I like to win. But nothing is more annoying that a gamer who cares about nothing but winning and will name call, make fun, and generally act like a dirt bag when the game isn't going his or her way. If you want to act this way, play in a ranked match with other serious gamers. Leave the player matches alone for those of us that just want to have fun. Likewise, if you suck, don't play in a ranked match. You will get yelled at and obscenities will be hurled your way. I warned you.

Rule number four: If you are losing, don't blame lag. I don't need to hear your excuses. Man up, take responsibility, and move on.

Rule number five: If you happen to find yourself gaming with a girl, please don't point out that she is a girl. She knows, Sherlock.

Don't avoid online gaming because of the jerks out there, and don't contribute to the jerk epidemic. In the end, you have the power to control your gaming experience. Is someone not playing by the rules? Mute them. Problem solved.

Now, go have fun.